Christmas - 5

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Merry Cummas!🎄It’s time to jingle jingle🔔those big balls🔴🎶⚪️because it’s the most fuckable😜time of the year! Even Misses Clause👵🏻wants a big ol’ candy cane in her stocking🎅🏼👀 Don't🙅🏼call me Mary because I won’t be a virgin after tonight 😏👌🏼👈🏼 Is that a snow blizzard or are you cuming on me?☃❄️💦 Don’t forgot to wrap that dick up in a bow tonight🎁🍆Send this to 10 of your cum covered snow angels👼🏻 If you receive 5 back you’re a big ole stocking stuffer😜if you receive 10 back you’re a naughty little nutcracker🌰😩🐿now go find some mistletoe🌿 and give Rudolph a sloppy dick sucking👅 underneath it and while you’re at it, go tell Santa what you want for Cummas and give him a lap dance🎿💃🏻while you’re at it😼 🔗 www.dirtychaintexts.com

Christmas - 4

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Here 💦CUMS💦 🎅🏽Santa Claus,🎅🏽 here 💦CUMS💦 🎅🏽Santa Claus,🎅🏽 right down 👩🏽👸🏽slutty girl lane!👩🏽👸🏽 ❌🚫❌🚫STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!❌🚫❌🚫 Is your 👨🏻👨🏻daddy👨🏻👨🏻 not giving you enough 💦💦💦cummies?!💦💦💦 Hold up,🙅🏽🙅🏽🙅🏽 ho! It's 💦💦cummy💦💦 ❄️💦❄️SEASON!❄️💦❄️ Push✋🏽✋🏽 that 👨🏻👨🏻daddy👨🏻👨🏻 to the ⏩⏩side⏩⏩ and let a 👌🏽NEW👌🏽 father in 🏡YOUR CHIMNEY!! 🏡 🎅🏽🎅🏽🎅🏽Father CHRISTMAS,🎅🏽🎅🏽🎅🏽 the 👑👑KING👑👑 of 💦cummies!💦 That's right,👍🏼 he's been making 👧🏽little👧🏽 👧🏽girls👧🏽 squishy for 6️⃣ CENTURIES. Don't ❎❎ mind the old saying; he ONLY makes the 💦😫😫😈NAUGHTIEST😈😫😫💦girls ☁️squishy☁️! So send this to all the 😼nastiest😼 👧🏽girls👧🏽 you know and share❗️Those❗️Cummies❗️Get 0️⃣ back and you're a basic 🌑🌑coal-slinging bitch.🌑🌑 Get 5️⃣ back and you get 👅eaten👅 like 🍪cookies🍪and 👅💦slurped💦👅 like 🍼milk!🍼 Get 1️⃣0️⃣ back and 🎅🏽Santa's🎅🏽 big 🍆🍆COCK🍆🍆 will grow⏫⏫ 3️⃣ sizes inside of you!😫😩 Get 1️⃣5️⃣ back and you become Mrs. Claus, and get 🍑🍌🍆yummy 🍒🍭🍼nummy 🍼💦☁️squishy🍼💦☁️ 💧💧cummies💧💧 until next ⏩🌨☃Christmas!🌨☃ 🔗 www.dirtychaintexts.com

Thanksgiving - 4

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Happy 🎩 SPANKSGIVING 👄 🌽 you HUNGRY HOES 😩 💦 It looks like 👏🏼 the 🍗TURKEY 🍗 isn't the ONLY thing getting 😧STUFFED 👀 tonight 😝 So prepare 💋 👉🏼your pussies 😳for some sweet potato 👅 DICK 🍆 and some CUMkin 🎃 pie cause it is time to 😘GOBBLE GOBBLE 🤤up that slow roasted 🐓COCK 🐓 and swallow the 😜CRANBERRY SAUCE 🍒 if you know what I mean 😏 NOW👇🏼give that turkey 🦃some good 👍🏼'ole jerky ✊🏼💦 and get ready to give OR receive 😉🙏🏼 thanks ‼️ Send this to 7️⃣ of your best 💁🏼SKANKS 👯and let them know how ♥️ THANKFUL🍁you are this HOEvember 😘🍆 🔗 www.dirtychaintexts.com

Queen Died

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😞HEAR YE HEAR YE☕️WOTS 🤷OLL ☣️DIS DEN🐿??! 🇬🇧 QUEEN 👑ELIZABETH 👑THE 🥒SEX-COND🕳the one and only👵🏻 queen of england👸HAS ☠️DIED💀. 🅱️ELEBRATE🍾🥂 HER 👼🍆😈LONG 🍑THICK 🥵🥵🥵JUICY 🌊💧LIFE💦 BY FUCKING AND SUCKING REGAL NUT 🗿 get n-🥞ass-☕️🍵tea🧋 with your COLON-ial KINGS 🇬🇧QUEENS💃🏻 AND ⚧NON-BINARY🚞. SPREAD YOUR LEGS🦵🦿 AS WIDE😉 AS HER REIGN🙊🐎 WHICH SPANNED 1️⃣5️⃣📈PRIME MINIST-HERS 💁🏻‍♀️INCLUDING 👿WINSTON 🐈🐈‍⬛CHURCH⛪️ILL🤮🤢AND LIZ TRUSS🍗 😷THE TWO ARE 1️⃣0️⃣1️⃣YEARS APART! SHE WAS OLDER THAN THE ☔️❄️WEATHER☀️ FORE📲CAST AND THE BALLPOINt ✍️PEN! 🔪🗡SLAY 🛷FOR THE SLAYED😵NUT TO BE FORGOTTEN🪦, SHE WAS OLD ASF!! RIP🙏🏻 🔗 www.dirtychaintexts.com

Independence Day

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Happy fWHOREth of July 🇺🇸💥 my fellow SLUTTY 🍆💦 AmeriCUNTS! 🇺🇸😂 On this day 📅 in 1️⃣7️⃣7️⃣6️⃣, the DADDIES 👴🏻🍆 of our nation 🇺🇸 got DRIPPY 💦💦 together & signed 📝 the Declaration of IndependSEX, 🇺🇸👉👌 breaking away 💔 from those COCK BLOCKING 🚫🍆❌ Brits 🇬🇧☕️ & giving us our 🙌 freedom 🙌 to FUCK! 🍆🍑💦 So grab those 💥 sparklers 💥 & start LICKIN 👅💦 some BUTTHOLES 🍑 good ol AMERICAN style! 🇺🇸💦 SHOOT ↗️🎉 your LOAD 🍆💦 of 💥 fireworks 💥 off, FLOP ⤵️ those BIG ASS 🍑 John HanCOCK 🍆🌭 WEINERS 🌭 on the grill, 🍳 & wave 👋 the 🌟 Star SPANKING 🍑👏 Banner, 🇺🇸 praising 🙌 the red 🔴, WHITE ⚪️💦 & blue! 🔵 Send ➡️ this to 1️⃣0️⃣ PATRIOTIC PUSSIES 🇺🇸😹 or you won't 🚫 get Lady Liberty's 🗽 GREEN TITS 🗽 in your face tonight! 😭 Get 3️⃣ back & you're a 🇺🇸 Ben FrankCLIT LICKER 👅💦 Get 5️⃣ back & you're a 🇺🇸 John PennIS SUCKER 🍆🍆 Get 1️⃣0️⃣ back & you're the 🇺🇸 Thomas JefferSUCC SLUT QUEEN 🍆💦👑 🔗 www.dirtychaintexts.com

Mother’s Day

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HAPPY MOTHERS DAY HOES! 👩🏻👩🏼👩🏽👩🏾👩🏿 On this day we celebrate 🎉🎊 the HORNY BITCH 🍆🙆 that got HOT 🔥 and DRIPPY 💦💦 with DADDY 👱🍆🍆 then 💥 POPPED 💥 YOU 👇🏻 OUTTA THE PUSSY 🙀🙀😹 9 MONTHS later 📅 Throughout the years 📅📅📅 this bitch 🙋 did EVERYTHING 4️⃣ you, shovin her TITTIES 🔘🔘 in your FACE 👶 4️⃣ you 2️⃣ SUCK ON 👅👅💦, cleanin up 👅👅 the CUMMIES 💦💦 in your diapers 👶, KISSIN 💋 all your BOOBoos 🏥, & 💦 CUMMIN 💦 to the rescue 🆘 whenever you needed 😫 that MILF PUSSY 🐱💦 Show this SLUTTY MUMMY 💁 how much you appreciate 🙏🙏 her today & MURDER 🔫🗡💣 THAT PUSSY 🐱🐱 like a good child should 👍👶 DADDY 👱🍆 won't mind 😉😏 Send ➡️ this to 1️⃣0️⃣ friends with the HOTTEST 🔥 MILFS 🙆👪 Get 3️⃣ back & MOMMY will give the TIP 🍆 a KISS 💋 GOODNIGHT 🌙⭐️ Get 5️⃣ back & she'll T(F)UCK 👉👌 you into BED 🛌 TONIGHT 🌠 Get 1️⃣0️⃣ back & she'll give you the RIDE 🐎🍆💦 OF YOUR LIFE 💦 to SCHOOL 📚 tomorrow 🚗🍆🐱💦 🔗 www.dirtychaintexts.com

Inauguration

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Strap down🚨😷 and strap on🍾🔛🤩 for INHOGURATION🐗🍆😱!! After fucking 🆙 our democrassy 🍑💩🍑 and nearly stopping 🛑✋the cunt 😳 Donald Trump🌽👿 is PULLING OUT👉👌 🙅‍♀️of 1600 Peensilvania Avenue!!!! 💃 🎈 🎊 CUMala💦💦Harris and Joe RIDIN’ 🐎🙇‍♀️🤟 are cumming with their orgy🎊of🧴lube-rals🧴😅 to feel 🆙 the 👐consTITSution 📜 of our pounding 🔨fathers 👨🏻‍🦳👴🏻🧓🏻 until dirty daddy Mitch 🐢 McConnelingus 👅 🌮 goes back 👇👇down 👇😲south where he belongs ⤵️🙃 Send 💌this to 2️⃣0️⃣ of your undersexed 🤤🥴covid slores...0️⃣ back😔and you’re Barron 👦🏻 for life 😭⛔️👶!! 5️⃣ back and you’ll be 💸Janet Yellin’💰😩🤭 in the treasury all night long. 🔟back and you’ll star 🌟 spangled bang 💥👄👏EVERY HOE in congrASS until 2022 🇺🇸👨‍⚖️🇺🇸 ⏰ ⏰ ⏰ 10,000 back with signatures and youre a Tasty Stacy Abrams 🗳🍑⚖️🥵

Insurrection

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Happy 😊 InsERECTION✊🏻 🍆💦 Day 🌞my slutty 😩little🙇 PATRIOTS🇺🇸!!! TODAY 🕛📅is the day🌞 DADDY👨🏻‍🦰TRUMP🍊 ORDERED 👉🏻the PROUD 🏳️‍🌈BOYS 👨🏼‍❤️‍👨🏼 💅🏻to STORM ⛈ the Capitol’s GIRTHY 😏 DOME 🍄 and PENETRATE 👉🏻👌🏻😩the HALLS🏛of CONGRESS👨🏼‍⚖️. THAT'S RIGHT✔✅✔ Things got KINKY⛓🤫and our DEMOCRACY 🇺🇸wasn’t🚫the only🔞one👆🏻 to ⤵️go down⤵️ that day 🍆😉. TODAY📅 is a DAY🌞 to SLURP UP🍴👅FACEBOOK 💻👵🏻MISINFORMATION🚨🗣📰AND HUNT🔍🔎 for SATANIC 👹👿👺CANNIBALS ☠️🍖🍽 AT YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD🏡 PIZZA PLACE🍕👨🏻‍🍳!!! MAKE SURE ✔ TO CHECK 🔍🔎YOUR 5G 📶TOWER🗼🍆 FOR CORONAVIRUS 😷 TOO, BECAUSE THE DEEP 🕳STATE 🇺🇸 IS A SNEAKY👟 CUCK🐓! SEND💌📬📫 THIS⬇TO1⃣5️⃣ OF YOUR SLUTTIEST😫😩😫  INSURRECTIONISTS😡🔫 OR JFK JR 👱🏻‍♂️🪦WON'T🚫🚫 RISE ⬆🤤FROM THE GRAVE ⚰ TO FILL YOUR BIG❗ OL' Q-ANUSSY 🍑 WITH HIS PRESIDENTIAL 🇺🇸🏛CUMMIES 💦💦💦!!! 🔗 www.dirtychaintexts.com