New Pope - Leo XIV

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HOLY SMOKIN’ HOTNESS 🔥🔥, the Sistine Chapel just BLEW WHITE SMOKE 💨💨 signalin’ we got a NEW POPE DADDY 😍🙏 in town, and we’re all PRAYIN’ 🙏🙌 for a BLESSING 🍆💦 from the big man upstairs! RIP Pope Francis 😢🕊️, but we’re ready to CONFESS 😳👅 our sins to this mystery HOLY ROLLER 🛐🍑—who’s gonna be the new HEAD of the CHURCH ⛪ to give us that DIVINE DICK-votion 🍌🙏? Will he SPANK 🖐️ our sins away or make us KNEEL 🧎‍♂️ for some SACRED SACRAMENT 💦👄? Send this to 7️⃣ of your NAUGHTIEST NUNS 🧕😈 and if you get 3️⃣ back, you’ll be BAPTIZED in HOLY WATER 💦💦 all night long! If you get 7️⃣ back, get ready for a PAPAL POUNDING 🍆🔥 that’ll make the Vatican WALLS SHAKE 🏰😱! Let’s hope this new pontiff is ready to SERVE 🍽️ some heavenly BODY OF CHRIST 🍞🍆👅! 🔗 dirtychaintexts.com

Luigi Mangione Arrest

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😢😞 DIVA DOWN! 😣🚨💔 American hero 🇺🇸 Luigi Mangione 👨‍⚕️ has been ARRESTED 🚔 for OFFING💦 the CE-HOE 🕴️🍆 of UNITED HEALTHCUCK 🍆! He was so 🔥💦 HOT 😍👅 that even the cops 🐷🚔 couldn’t resist scooping up that FINE ASS 🍑! Now it’s time to CUM together 👬💦 and scream 😩 “FREE LUIGI!” til it’s backwards ⏪ so he can KEEP POUNDING 💥🍑 those CORRUPT corporations HARD 💪🍌. Send this to 5️⃣ of your most THIRSTY 🥤💦 friends, and if you don’t want a piece of LUIGI’S beefy BUNS 🌭🍑, you deserve your high ass DICKDUCTIBLE! 💦 🔗 dirtychaintexts.com

Presidential Election 2024

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ATTENTION ‼️‼️ 🇺🇸🦅ITS ERECTION DAY🌭🗓️ 🖊️IN THE UNITED✨ SLAY-TES 🇺🇸⭐️THE TIME ⏰ HAS OFFICIALLY CUM💦 for Kamala’s COCONUTS🥥🌴TO ELECT HER🗳️🇺🇸 AS OUR NEXT PRESI-CUNT🥵 OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA 🇺🇸💦 SO YOU BETTER 😤SERVING🫡💁🏻‍♀️YOUR CIVIC BOOTY🍑👅BY CASTING🎣 😩YOUR ✅VOTE 🗳️😏IN THE BALLOT📥 BOX👅👀 AND CUM PREPARED😳 TO PARTY 🎉🍾 THIS NOVEMBER 5️⃣TH WE CELEBRATE 🍾OUR RIGHT 🤤TO STAR 🌠SPANK 👋🏼AND BANG 💥HER 🫨IN THE LAND 🏔️OF THE FREAK 😛🔥AND THE HOME 🏠OF THE GAYS 🏳️‍🌈 LIKE THE 🐱CUNTSTITUTION 📜SAYS IN 🕊️🙏🏼GOD WE THRUST 👉🏼👌🏼 SEND ✉️ THIS TO 4️⃣7️⃣ OF YOUR CLOSEST CUMRADS 💦 TO GET BLESSED 🙏 BY TAMPON 🩸TIM AND QUEEN 👑 KAMALA👸🏽 AND IF YOU DON’T 🛑 THEN 🦅 JD VANCE🧔🏻WILL FORCE 🚫😱 DIET MOUNTAIN DEW 🥤 DOWN YOUR THROAT 😫🤮 WHILE HE DROPS HIS JD PANTS👖AND BUSTS 💦🤤 A FAT LOAD 🚛IN 🍆🥛IN UR COUCH 🛋️ 🔗 DIRTYCHAINTEXTS.COM

Trump Convicted

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Daddy Trump is CUMvincted on ALL Charges 😱 UH OH 🫣 the loooong 😏 💪 arm 💪 of the  law 🇺🇸👩🏻‍⚖️ has swung 🍒 low 🍒 to give Daddy 🤠 Trump a good 👏 SLAP 💥😜  The 🏙️ Manhattan  🍆 DICKstrict 🍆 Attorney’s 😯 criminal 🔎 invesTITgation 🍈🍈 into Trump’s 💦 HUSHdaddy 👉 payments👌 is finished off 🔥 🔥🔥 ☝️🧐 Send this to 🔟 of your 😜💅 SLUTTIEST 💕 seditionists 🤪 and if you get 0️⃣ back ☹️, get ready 😬 to do some 😏🍆 HARD TIME just like TRUMP👎  If you get 5️⃣-🔟 back, you might 🌊 SLIP 🌊 right out 😉 of this 💦 STICKY 💦 situation 👻🤔 If you get 🔟➕ back then 🦅 Daddy Trump 🫡😘 will give you an insERECTION 🍆 you’ll ❤️ NEVER ❤️ forget 😍🤯❤️‍🔥🔗 www.dirtychaintexts.com

Eclipse

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📞Listen👏🏻 🆙👆🏻 you 💫cosmic♋️, crescent🌙 CUNTS💁 and 👙slutty, 🤑SKANKY 🪩🌟STARGLAZERS:✨ today📅 is the 💯Great 💘NorTHROBBING😩 AmeriCUM💧 SOL🅰️R🌞🌛ECLIPSE‼️‼️ That’s right🚨, 🌚DADDY MOON🌚 is 🙇‍♂️RUBBING🦵🏻🫦 his 👣voluptuous🎂🎂 ASS 👉🏻RIGHT UP🧎 against his 🌝STEP SUN🌝👨‍👦, and he 🌚wants you💋 to 👀WATCH‼️ The path👨‍🦯 of the 🌓eclipse🌛 is ♨️LONG🪈🔥 and ❤️‍🔥HARD😱, and 🎅🏻Daddy Moon🌒 is DRAGGING his 🖤shadowy🖤 COCK🍆🐉 across🌔 the faces🤤☄️ of many cities🌃… from 😉DuranGOO🥛, Mexico🇲🇽, to 😏Fort GIRTH🌭, Texas🇺🇸… from 😳CLEVAGE🍒, Ohio, to 🥵BUTTSWALLOW🍑👅, New York… from 🤫VIAGARA Falls💉🌊 to 🥴BONERvista🪄, Canada🇨🇦, and 🫡beyond❗️ Butt🍩 with eclipse 🕶️😼glASSES🍅👓 the 🥥HOLE🕳️ CUNTinent🌎🙆‍♂️ gets to🌚 be 🙊🛐MOONED‼️❗️ As the 🌅Sun gets 🌤️🎣COCKBLOCKED🌥️ these 🌕🌕FULL MOONS😍👅 are 🌎🌋CUMMIN OUT💕💦💥❕Be sure🌘 to 🔭LOOK 🆙⏫ as you 🦃GOBBLE 🧠DOWN🙇🙇‍♀️🙇‍♂️ on 🌌CELESTIAL💄 CUNT🍽️ 🔗 www.dirtychaintexts.com

New Years - 3

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3..2…1….. 👅🎉🎊NEW YEAR NEW DICK!!👅🎉🎊Happy New Year you 😈FESTIVE FUCKSLUTS! 😈Get ready to POP THAT PUSSY 😩👄after the CHAMPAGNE! 🍾🍾🍾🥂🥂🥂CONFETTI🎊 ISNT THE ONLY THING RAINING DOWN TONIGHT! 😏💦💦Get ready for BUCKETS OF CUM,💦💦💦lots OF BIG DADDY DICKS, 🍆🍆and JUICY COOCHIES. 😩👅The only place you’ll be sitting tonight is on THIS FAT DICK! 😈😈Send this to 10 of your Naughty New Year bitches 👩🏻‍🎤👩🏼for 365 days of 2️⃣ 0️⃣ 2️⃣ 3️⃣ dick! 👀🤙🏻Get 10 back and you’re a GRADE 🅰️CUMSLUT! 😛Get 5 back and you’ll be 🍆DICKED DOWN🍆 ON THE REG! 🎉😋Get none back and you’re pussy will stay dry as a biscuit in ! 😨😮☹️🙁 🔗 www.dirtychaintexts.com

Christmas - 6

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peace 🕊🕊 on girth and mercy WILD✌️jolly old saint 🎅dick 🍄is making a bang list and checking it once 📝✅ gonna find out who’s thotty and nice!! you elves 🧝‍♀️🧝🧝‍♂️have been working HARD 🍆🍆🍆 all year long and it’s time for a Union-mandated 💪💪sex break 🚬🍳 so STRAP ON your reins and get ready to RIDE sexy Santa’s North Pole bc supply chains ⛓🔗⛓ and whippits EXCITE you 📈📈📈send to 3️⃣3️⃣ wise men if you want Cole 🙆‍♂️ in your stocking 😉🧦 get 5️⃣ back to spray preg 🤰🍳🍺 nog everywhere 1️⃣0️⃣ back and Santa’s cumming 💦💦up YOUR chimney 🏠🕳 get 1️⃣5️⃣ back and fist 💋✊ under the misdildo 🎄🌿🍆  and enjoy fa la la la la la la lingus 🎁🎁🎁 merry thiccmas and a happier coxing day 📦🇨🇦  🔗 www.dirtychaintexts.com

Christmas - 5

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Merry Cummas!🎄It’s time to jingle jingle🔔those big balls🔴🎶⚪️because it’s the most fuckable😜time of the year! Even Misses Clause👵🏻wants a big ol’ candy cane in her stocking🎅🏼👀 Don't🙅🏼call me Mary because I won’t be a virgin after tonight 😏👌🏼👈🏼 Is that a snow blizzard or are you cuming on me?☃❄️💦 Don’t forgot to wrap that dick up in a bow tonight🎁🍆Send this to 10 of your cum covered snow angels👼🏻 If you receive 5 back you’re a big ole stocking stuffer😜if you receive 10 back you’re a naughty little nutcracker🌰😩🐿now go find some mistletoe🌿 and give Rudolph a sloppy dick sucking👅 underneath it and while you’re at it, go tell Santa what you want for Cummas and give him a lap dance🎿💃🏻while you’re at it😼 🔗 www.dirtychaintexts.com